The Emotional Roller Coaster: How To Regain Your Identity After Giving Your Baby Up For Adoption

Posted on: 7 October 2015

While the benefits of giving a baby up for adoption are unique to each birth mother, there are many general feelings and emotions you can expect to face after the experience. In addition to a sense of loss, you may find it tough to work out identity issues. And it's possible that future relationships will suffer unless some work is done to regain your sense of identity and create a sense of peace after the adoption procedure takes place. Here are a few things you can do to improve your well-being and regain your personal identity during the months after the adoption:

Join a Support Group

One of the most important ways you can protect yourself from emotional fragility as you work through the resulting loss of the adoption process is to join a support group. These types of groups will help you learn how to feel whole again after giving birth and even how to create your own personal relationship with the child that has been adopted through the use of a diary, letters for keepsakes, and other techniques. Specialty support groups that cater to those who have given a child up for adoption offer the ability to tap into resources that will help you gain encouragement and confidence you'll need to start your own family when you are good and ready.

In order to gain access to the unique support and resources you need, it is important to make sure that the support group you choose to join is geared directly toward those who have given babies up for adoption. Participating in groups that mix both those who have adopted and those who have given children up for adoption may create negative feelings and emotions that aren't easily overcome in such as setting.

Groups that aren't geared toward any specific type of recovery come with the same possibilities. You need to be in a place that is filled with those who know exactly what you're going through, and who have even successfully surpassed the experiences you are going through. If you can't find specific support in your community, you'll find forums and global groups to interact with on the Internet.

Offer Support Yourself

An awesome way to regain your identity after the adoption process is to offer up your own support to others who have recently gone through the adoption procedure themselves. Of course you'll need to do some healing yourself before trying to help others, but after a little time you may find that it's liberating to walk others through their feelings and emotions that stem from giving up a baby for adoption.

There are many ways to go about providing support – Offer phone consultations, create a small weekly group meeting, or start community programs that are designed to help grieving birth mothers with things such as food, housing, and clothing. Starting and maintaining a blog on the Internet will not only provide support for others who are looking for it, but it can help you work through any issues that come up from day-to-day as time goes on.

Get Involved with Campaigns

Getting involved with campaigns, whether locally or nationally, tends to render a sense of personal accomplishment. This is due to being an actionable part of helping people reclaim their lives after adoption or avoid the prospect of giving children up for adoption in the first place. This can also open up new career avenues for you to explore in the long run, which would allow you to do something that makes a difference in many peoples' lives around the world.

Whether it's campaigning for more financial and career support geared toward those who've given a child up for adoption, providing education and contraception to those who are at risk of unwanted pregnancy, or working in programs that help pregnant women who are the victims of rape, you will find that there are a myriad of opportunities available that enable you to follow the specific path that is most important to you.

In addition to implementing any of these techniques, it's essential that you take some personal time for yourself to let go of stress and process your feelings without any pressure. Consider committing to spending at least 15 minutes each day to reading in a bubble bath, taking a long walk in the park, or spending time with supportive loved ones in an upbeat atmosphere.

For more information, talk to a professional adoption agency, like those found at They should be able to provide you with the resources you need to recover.